Comments on: What are the Pros and Cons of dating a single mother?

By: mushroom_stamp

mushroom_stamp — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 04:18:59 +0000

Is she hot, you don’t want to hook up with a woman that has a lot of baggage if she is ugly. How often do you "get it" and does she have a good paying job or are you going to support her.Is her daughter over the age of 18 – if so this could lead to a future hook-up.
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By: ilovemybigmac

ilovemybigmac — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 04:10:59 +0000

It’s not about competition. Your bond with her and her kid is the only thing that matters. If your not ready, then your not ready. Don’t force yourself to date her, if you do, then she will know and everyone would be miserable. However, if you like her enough to stick around, you will find that her being a single mother should affect your feelings for each other. Everyone has a past, believe me, I know. It’s not easy to reconcile with another persons past, especially if you love them (in my case). Also, don’t treat the child badly, it’s not his/her fault. Eveything will work out exactly how it is supposed to. Don’t worry, and talk to her about it. Hope this helps.
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experience

By: xenypoo

xenypoo — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 04:05:59 +0000

The pro is you might fall in love with her, and her family…kids are great…if they’re not, it’s the parents fault.
Cons, none.

Give her a chance, and her child too. You seem like a nice guy who is concerned over the feelings of the child. The point is to not compete. You just start out as a friend….you’ll eventually learn the goings on in the relationship, and you’ll get your barrings.

If you truly want love, it comes to you, you don’t find it, and once it does, no cross you bare will stand in it’s way.
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By: jazzfanmd

jazzfanmd — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 03:48:59 +0000

It sounds like you’re not ready. She may be TOTALLY over the father of her kid/kids, but they will ALWAYS have to deal with each other because of the life they created. IF, she is over him, then it isn’t much different than an ex-boyfriend. But you have other issues to deal with – getting attached to her children, and them to you, whether you should visit overnight, paying for child care when you go out, depending on their ages, including them in your activities, and the fact that she can’t just do things on a whim as easily as many childless women. If she’s a good woman, take your time, and let things develop. Good luck.
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By: retox

retox — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 03:39:59 +0000

pros – she will be desperate cons, she will be desperate!

Seriously, I have a friend who is a single mother and she constantly bangs on about how she is looking for a father figure for her son and someone with some money to support her – and she wonders why she is single!

Personally, I wouldn’t date a man with children – I just wouldn’t want to get involved with having the ex hanging around and being put second to someone elses kids all the time.
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By: CoPa

CoPa — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 03:01:59 +0000

if you’re not too old, you’d probably prefer dating a person that hasn’t been married or had kids. sorry to say it but it’s almost like buying a used car or something. i’m sure the kid is great, i’m sure you’re great with kids… but unless there is just some reason you’re so in love with this woman and her kid that you wouldn’t mind giving it a try then i’d say you need to date around still.
by the way it makes it pretty awkward for the kid… no matter how hard you try to be the boy/girl’s father you never will be.
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By: lostintranslation

lostintranslation — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 02:31:59 +0000

true about the strong bond but a true father doesn’t have to biological. the good thing about single mother is that they are independent. the baggage of course that comes along with it is up to the guy and if he wants that in his life.
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single mother

By: Mj052506

Mj052506 — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 01:52:59 +0000

of course it is something that bonds the parents in some ways. But reality, they are no longer together. Just because two people love their child, does not mean they still love each other. It can bring respect, gratitude, affection and even different forms of love. But there are obviously reasons they are not together. I guess you have to decide how you feel about kids. How you feel about the woman. I mean I would definitely get to know her first, and really decide if you are ready for this. But I would not totally brush her off just because she has a child. And I think you’d be surprised how easily you can also develope affection for the child. Mostly, kids are easy to bond with. I think most of us can act like big kids at times. We tap into that especially when we are around children. And if you decide you are just not ready for this, be honest and open with the mother. Dont lead her on. I am sure she is prepared for that possibility.
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By: TrynBoe

TrynBoe — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 01:46:59 +0000

pros- if you ever wanted a kid that's a great chance to have one without having to deal with all night feeding and diaper duty
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By: motivation

motivation — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 01:26:59 +0000

you might not be comfortable with the thought of taking some other guys spot.
im the same way.

if the relationship leads to seriousness and your still not comfortable than that can cause you to worry and stress over petty things which leads to fighting and an unhealthy relationship.
talk to your lady about how you feel, dont expect her to know how you feel.
good luck. dont give up just yet.
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By: John

John — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 00:52:59 +0000

If your not ready to be a dad don't do it. Moms get clingy very quick because they look for father figures
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By: astroface

astroface — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 00:21:59 +0000

like you name, get a clue. so that person has a child from someone else its not like you havent had sex with someone else. she had sex and had a baby and the purpose of sex is to reproduce. so i wouldn’t even want to deal with you if i was her in the first place.

chances are given to be taken, if you stand back your chance is gone
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By: Make the voices STOP

Make the voices STOP — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 23:51:59 +0000

PRO:
kids are good icebreakers
if you get along with the kids, that scores big points with the mom

CON:
ex won’t leave the scene
she may be fat from having kids
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By: SouthBay

SouthBay — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 23:22:59 +0000

Just be open and honest.
Willingness to learn and grow.
A single mom has been to the parade, she has seen all the tricks and therefore she is not in it to play.
Single moms are great and filled with passion and love.
Just be real
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By: nessa1234567

nessa1234567 — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 23:11:59 +0000

Pros: Most single parents know what they want in life/relationships Cons: The child. Its not easy to get alone time with the mother and take care of a child that isnt yours.
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